[Translation] "Memorial address" Beatfreak Track-By-Track Interview

"Memorial address" Beatfreak Track-By-Track Interview

Can you give us your thoughts looking back on the past year? This year was as busy as ever, right? From March until the end of May, you had your first Fan Club Members-only Live House tour, "Limited TA Live." Then in July, you released the four-song maxi single "&." On August 30th, the single "forgiveness" and, starting in October, your 30th single release commemorative concert tour "A museum." Then the November release of "No way to say," and now in December you've released the "Memorial address" mini-album.

A: Yeah. But '03 went really smoothly, I think. I took on various challenges. Of all of them, the "A museum" tour I did in the fall is the biggest deal for me... After that was done, "No way to say" was created and then the Mini-album "Memorial address" was born.

"A museum" made use of the entire venue, with you teleporting between several stages, wearing a pure white wedding dress with a 50 meter veil trailing behind, the whole thing was really amazing. And 22 songs! Performing for two and a half hours!! It was really quite surprising.

A: I know, right? And performing "A museum" let me see all my supporting band members & dancers, who I'd worked with before, in a new light. It's hard to accurately describe it, but there was so much that came from putting on this concert, I think it had an immesurable influence on me. This concert, being called "A museum," was really huge for me personally.

This album, "Memorial address," comes in two versions, a CD-only (2100 yen) and a CD+DVD (3465 yen), and on the DVD there are PVs for all tracks excluding the bonus track, plus an "A museum" digest video.

A: Mm-hmm. If you watch the DVD I think you can get an idea of the overall feeling of "A museum."

At any rate, the CD+DVD is packaged in a nice 2-disc set. Can you give us some details of the PV and Live contents compiled on the DVD?

A: I've started to have an interest in film since the beginning of this year, watching the works of various directors proactively. Because of that, for this year's first release "&", I had new directors working on each of the three songs' videos. When the producers watched those works, they started saying things like "You should release a CD+DVD mini-album." So, having heard that input, I compiled the 7 PVs and the "A museum" digest, all shot in 2003, which all together took shape to reflect me, and I could feel the potential and appeal that the films from this year projected.

It became a work expressing the ways those films appealed to you personally.

A: And I want people to plant their bodies and watch it as closely as possible! This is something that moved ayu to really feel. I think whether you watch it alone or with alot of other people, experiencing it with both your eyes and ears is very different from only taking in the sounds.

Continuing on, can you tell us the theme of the album artwork?

A: The jacket's themes are "strength hidden inside" and "thoughts & feelings kept to oneself." Because I wanted to express this, the cover photo and inside photos are all "neither smiling nor crying, totally expressionless," and the colors are de-emphasized so it's mostly all gold.

When you get to the photo of you in green, you're posed rather like a doll or a puppet, which also reflects that feeling. Inside that doll, there is a heart that cries out in protest, but...

A: Yes. That's exactly how it looks.

Can you tell us a little about the contents of the mini-album itself? This time you had 5 songs released on singles, so there are three new songs put together here. Was the album originally intended to have 8 songs?

A: Eh, well... From the time I started this "mini-album" I was thinking about "what songs are good?" So when I finally decided on the 8 songs, there were 5 that happened to already be on singles plus 3 new songs. I think it turned into just conveying more than just the thoughts I had packed into those five songs.

The three new songs are "ANGEL'S SONG," whose main characteristic is its pop melody; "Because of you," which speaks of love feelings that you can't get rid of; and then also "Memorial address," which was recorded with your band. All good pieces of music. You chose "Memorial address" as the album's title track, but didn't publish the lyrics inside the booklet. Could you tell us the reasoning behind that?

A: When thinking about the fact that "this mini-album = myself this year", "Memorial address" contains things that had become fundamental to me. So I think using it as the title for the album was the right thing to do. But as far as the song is concerned, I didn't plan on explaining the various things going on inside me. I'd prefer if people listened first. I think if people listen to the song properly, they'll get a better idea of what I'm thinking in it. The lyrics aren't printed in there, so people have to listen to the song first, before having any information (any written characters to look at). This is because I wanted people to feel the song.

INTERVIEW: Kazuki Okabe

*Profile
Born October 2nd, 1978. Hometown is Fukuoka. Blood type A. Debut on April 8th, 1998 with "poker face." Since then, has released 31 singles and 19 albums (including remixes and best-ofs).

*New Release
Mini Album "Memorial address"
CD+DVD: AVCD-17410/B / '03.12.17 / 3465 yen (tax in)
CD Only: AVCD-17411 / '03.12.17 / 2100 yen (tax in)

01 "ANGEL'S SONG"
Music: Tetsuya Yukumi / Arrangement: HΛL
PV Director: Hideaki Sunaga
"ANGEL'S SONG"'s melody really gets at you. The version that came to me from the composer, Yukumi, had more of a rock taste, and more of a sad feeling, but HAL did the arrangement and it really became more of a "UPBEAT HAL!" sort of arrangement... So the song is much closer to what was inside me. The PV was directed by Sunaga, who also directed the "Greatful days" PV. I change into a wolf and fight a gang. But what I thought of in my head when I heard about the aforementioned change, and how it actually turned out, they were two very different things... I was quite surprised (bitter smile).

02 "Greatful days"
Music: BOUNCEBACK / Arrangement: HΛL
PV Director: Hideaki Sunaga
The subject matter in the lyrics is really very simple, maybe I didn't have alot I wanted to say? Actually, even though it's easy to listen to, there's probably alot I'm saying... That's the kind of thing I wanted to do, actually. The melody has this proactive feeling of "let's go this way!" But since the song is absurdly and excessively bright, you can't understand what sort of face I may be making in singing it (bitter smile). I was pretty much always smiling during recording. "We can be naughty because the summer gives us freedom" became the theme of the PV. It feels like, if "ourselves" is the nightmare, this is the good dream.

03 "Because of You"
Music: BOUNCEBACK / Arrangement: HΛL
PV Director: Kouki Tange
A friend of mine has someone they met who they got to really like. Things were nice between them for awhile, but then quickly dropped off. When I asked, "Do you think it would have been better if you'd never met?", that friend was able to reply with a sunny face, "I think it was good that we met, as far as I'm concerned, the moment we encountered each other was a happy one." That moment stuck with me very strongly, and "Because of You" was born from it. The dancers I usually work with on tour perform in the PV, but I suggested this to the director Mr. Tange. That's because when I did "A museum," I was really moved by the expressiveness I saw from them. That day, I saw the dancers on-set, and it sort of manipulated the atmosphere, and I think I understood what my goal was exactly. The "How do you do, friend?" atmosphere was something we had to not let out, but I think was visible in the final film.

04 "ourselves"
Music: BOUNCEBACK / Arrangement: CMJK
PV Director: Kouki Tange
A cool and incredibly pure song. Rather than "romantic passion," I'm singing about life itself, not just happiness. I have more than enough to fulfill myself, but honestly, there's still this sort of unending sadness. I wanted to write about such a feeling. As for the PV, I'm in very striking makeup & costume, and I'm thrown into an insane world where these scientists are tearing up my posters and there are eerie anti-fans. And they've put on these masks with my face. This video feels like, totally "Tange's World!"

05 "HANABI ~episode II~"
Music: CREA + D.A.I / Arrangement: tasuku
PV Director: Shuuichi Tan
"HANABI", released last summer on "H," ended with the lyric "I can't do anything about it," it seems. That's all well and good, but I thought I should give it a proper ending. Of the 7 PVs on the DVD, this is the only one shot on-location (Kujukuri Beach). From sunrise to sunset, we kept to the shooting schedule even in worrying weather. The gray and hazy sea in the background, rain sliding down the glass, tears falling, and in the middle of this lonely time I furiously play guitar. And then, the transient fireworks scatter. I think my sad faces and everything in this video all marks the end of summer so entirely.

06 "No way to say"
Music: BOUNCEBACK / Arrangement: HΛL
PV Director: Ukon Kamimura
I want to explain, but I can't explain well enough. The more I talk, the more a wall is built up, and the more words become obstructed. There have been times when I felt like I'm terrible and expressing myself when I talk. So when I was saying this to people, there was someone who said "everyone feels like that sometimes, right?" And those words were the reason I was able to create this song. I requested Kamimura, who directed "Real me," for the PV. Standing on a street corner, Santa is handing tissues to the people who are coming & going, but he gives me a different color of tissues from everyone else, and when we meet again there's a scene where he hands me a present in red wrapping. In this world today, we can communicate so many feelings and business details with email and other conveniences, but I think it's just so nice to hand-deliver a gift, that we put alot of thought into, to someone we care about. So I included a scene with that sort of feeling.

07 "forgiveness"
Music: BOUNCEBACK / Arrangement: HΛL
PV Director: Yoshiya Okoyama
Instead of raising and lowering my gaze unreasonably, I was thinking, whatever age someone is, whatever era of their life they're in, there are still so many younger children out there, and what do we all have in common? And I thought, "love." From the time we're babies until we're old grandpas & grannies, I realized, we always have "love." The title, "forgiveness," comes from an image of "feelings of wishing," "feelings of repentance," and "feelings of solemnity." In Japanese, we have words like "yurusu (permission)" and "kandai na (leniency/tolerance)," but for this song I think "kandai na" is the closest to what I mean. The PV is very busy with CG, and the director Okoyama would say things like "Okay, so I think such-and-such a thing is gonna go here...", and there were a bunch of places where I would have to perform while imagining it. It was extremely difficult.

08 "Memorial address"
Music: Tetsuya Yukumi / Arrangement: tasuku
This is the title track, but also the bonus track, and the only one of the 8 tracks that was recorded in a band session. Originally I was going to record this song by myself in the studio, but during recording, there wasn't just me, the band and chorus were all around me. When I heard them playing I just wanted to sing, I think. Yo-chan's guitar, Enrique's bass, Shingo's piano. It calmed me down, the sound of all these people who've supported me. I think I really needed it. "Memorial address." In my mind, it's very special, and when I made it, it became important to me in the same way "teddy bear" (from "Duty") is.

Credit: Delirium-Zer0 @ AHS
Shared by Ayu's Story
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[Translation] "RAINBOW" Interview From Beatfreak Magazine

First off, may I hear the reason for using "RAINBOW" for the album's title?
A: A rainbow is something that everyone's seen at least once, so there's not gonna be anyone saying "huh? a rainbow? what's that?," it's something they'd immediately recognize. But you only see it for a moment, you can't gaze at it forever. And when you want to see one, you can't. And it's not a tangible thing, either... When I thought about that, I thought, I wonder if I really saw a rainbow? Is a rainbow really even there? People have the general notion of "a rainbow is a seven-color arc", sure, they know what a picture of a rainbow looks like, so when they see a rainbow, maybe they ascertain with their own knowledge that that's what they've seen... But what if that's not really what it is? For example, maybe it's only three colors...
And also, no one's ever sad when they see a rainbow. They say "Look! It's a rainbow!" and a part of them becomes happy. I thought I wanted to do that, I wanted to have that kind of existance. I can't be right next to you, but when everyone sees me, I'd like for it to feel nice, like times when you see a rainbow maybe. So I chose "RAINBOW" for the title.

I'd like to hear a little about the shooting of the jacket photo though. The shoot took quite a long time, didn't it?
A: It took forever! And the pose wasn't comfortable at all. But it would have been bad if I couldn't conceal everything... (bitter smile) And I was sitting on top of this pool, like a fish tank, but I'm a human so I wanted to move. (laughs) And then they'd have to change the water... and I'd have to wait for it to stop moving around.

The inside of the tank wasn't really cold water... was it??
A: Oh no, it was warm, it was warm! (laugh) But it would get me feeling cold after awhile. So they'd have to keep adding warm water to it over and over... but eventually it'd cool down again. Plus, I wasn't wearing anything, so.

Nothing at all??
A: That's right. So Leslie (Kee, the photographer) was the only man who was allowed to be there, the others were all tossed outside. (laughs)

By the way, starting with this album, you're using English lyrics, what was the thought behind that?
A: I went and did alot of things in Asia this year, and I think it was a big influence in the decision. I felt like the "language barrier" was a big deal at the time. It's meaningless if they can't understand me, and I wanted them to be able to know who I was. As such, I thought that studying English would be necessary, since the language the world uses to communicate to each other = English. For example, if you say "I love you" in English, everyone's more likely to understand than than if you say "(facing a lover) aishiteru."

That seems to be good for interviewers understanding you, but doesn't it make you uncomfortable to sing lyrics in English?
A: Very uncomfortable. How should I explain this... It's like, my "tone" is there, right? But I don't really know (bitter smile), what kind of accent have I been singing with all this time...? Now it's like I've been saying useless things all monotone (laughs). If I say things in Japanese and then suddenly change them to English, the emotions are left behind somewhere else because I don't understand anymore, right? It's kinda like that. When that happened, I thought, is it maybe a mistake to do lyrics in English? and I felt very blue about it, I felt really defeated (bitter smile).

How was it to write the lyrics? And was the singing afterwards difficult?
A: Now that I think about it, I did it pretty quickly. For example, in Japanese 1 kanji symbol for 1 word can take three syllables to say, like "watashi," and if I don't have that much room, that's no good, but in english the same word can be one syllable, "I," and that might be possible to say. And, if I only have two syllables available, I can still say "konya" for "tonight" if that's all I have room for in the phrase "let's be together tonight" or something.

Can you tell me a little bit about working on the album? Was it a really good experience this time?
A: Wasn't it the absolute best time ever? I think the staff around me were very impatient. Since I finished choosing the songs to put in, everyone was saying "Now that that's done, how many more days to you need?" Everyone was saying that stuff, and it was like they were challenging me. But I'm grateful for it. They have my thanks for focusing their efforts that much.

This album, RAINBOW, is in what kind of place inside of you? What kind of work is it?
A: A good example would be when I wrote the title track fro "I am...". "I've shown the real me, but what is it exactly?" "Okay, this is who I am, but what am I going to do about that?" I've always fought with such a "gap between myself and the world" type of thinking, but I started to think lately that "that gap is always going to be there, right?" I used to think it was a good thing to fight like that. To meet friends who carried the same wounds and suffer together with them... But I don't think that's true anymore. I think I and everyone can perfectly understand people who hold such pain.
So, for "RAINBOW," I'm of course singing about the hesitations and anxieties, and also the joy and hope, inside of me. But I'm not saying it like "me, me, me" all the time. I've become aware of the listener, saying that "people who hear this will be able to stand up, and without that, this album is meaningless."

The themes of "human existence" and "what does 'human' mean?" are definitely strongly depicted on this album. Alright, lastly, what do you want to say to people about this album?
A: "RAINBOW" is the most "personal" and "peaceful" album I've released so far.

ALBUM　"RAINBOW"
AVCD-17239 / '02.12.18

00　"RAINBOW"
This song isn't actually on the album, but you can access a website whose URL is printed on papers enclosed in the first pressing of the album, and hear it there. Although I haven't put any words to it yet, I think it's a very beautiful tune.

01　"everlasting dream"
"everlasting dream," which decorates the album's opening, was given to me by CMJK at the very last moment. Of all the various instrumentals on the album, like "taskinillusion" by tasuku and "neverending dream" by HAL, I thought this one was the "most like an actual song." Words just seemed to come to me naturally as soon as I heard it... Actually, I should say, even before that I wrote words like these at my TeamAyu site, and I thought of it while I was writing the lyrics.

02　"WE WISH"
WE WISH is a very strong song. There's a strong force you're feeling from the very first track. And not just the lyrics and the melody-the vocals are also stronger and rougher than usual. It's probably fair to say that it's not a track that plays nice with words. That's probably its defining trait. The title isn't "I WISH," using "WE" instead was a natural decision, but it's not about "my wish alone," I thought that "everyone is probably wishing for this too."

03　"Real me"
"If you're a woman, you should fight!" "Real me" is packed with these sorts of thoughts. Inside me, there's this image that men are great fighters but women don't really fight much. A man always seems to have a "little boy" part inside them no matter what kind of adult they've become. But women can become unexpectedly substantial when they're in a pinch, I think... "I want to become such a woman," I thought.
The song has a bit of an R&B style, but it's the only song on the album that really does something like that. Although I'm really not the type that likes to lay it on thick in the chorus, the chorus of Real me seems to come pounding in from a special world. So, it took a bit longer than usual to complete the track (bitter smile). But once it was done, I thought "Wow, this turned out great!" like everyone else did. (laugh)
And TRF's CHIHARU and ETSU made an appearance in this song's PV. This is, when I thought I wanted to make a dance video, "we have to invite two people for this!", I felt like "I want to collaborate with like, CHIHARU and ETSU for the dance scene!" I made the decision in my mind very quickly! I'd already mentioned to them that "I want to work on something together," having privately made friends with everyone in TRF after the a-nation concert over the summer.

04　"Free & Easy"
In Free & Easy, I wrote what I am feeling at the moment. In other words, "I want to be a person who lives by taking responsibility for my own freedom," and "I want to be a person for whom these words are perfectly applicable." But, when it came to recording, because I already had a nearly complete picture of "what I wanted to say," it was more difficult than usual to create a melody that would fit with the message of the lyrics.
(from "RAINBOW Director's Notes")

05　"Heartplace"
"Heartplace" was written as a cry from my heart. Of all the songs on the album that include English lyrics, the first one I recorded was this song. At the time, I was wondering, was it a mistake to use english? and it was making me feel kinda blue (bitter smile).
Recording usually involves getting into the vocal booth and then singing a song from start to finish. But for this song, I went into the booth, sang a little bit, came out, thought about the song, went back into the booth, sang a little bit more, came out, listened... It was a different work process than usual. So, in that sense, it's a very memorable track.

06　"Over"
The day that a love passes by is painted in "Over." I asked Umesaki and Sato for "an arrangement with a bit of an Asian feeling" and that's what they gave me. They'd never been to Asia though, so they'd ask "Hey, does this seem asia-ish maybe?" until I thought it was good, and they definitely balanced the feelings I imagined.
I locked myself in my hotel room to write the lyrics, but I just couldn't come up with the words for the B melody. I was really racking my brain. The bridge melody suddenly rises in a unique way, so I tried various ways of singing before I finally settled on the final form. That might have been because it was my first time singing a melody written by CMJK. I really like how this song flows into the next track, "HANABI."

07　"HANABI"
When I was writing the three 「H」 songs, I wanted to wrap up with a song that expressed the idea of "a summer that ends in deep sadness." What resulted was HANABI.
(from "RAINBOW Director's Notes")

08　"taskinillusion"
Although this album feels very integrated in a sense, it really has an unsettled undertone. I was looking for something in the middle that would express this feeling of unsettledness, and just then the perfect thing came along. I thought "this is magic!" And that's why it's an illusion. (Laughs)
(from "RAINBOW Director's Notes")

09　"everywhere nowhere"
This tune was composed by pop, who plays the keyboards behind me. I decided to include it in my album the moment I heard it for the first time. I thought it presented a good image-kind of surreal but at the same time very fresh-so I really liked it. But the beginning A melody is dark enough, so my way of singing there is very serious too, the way I put it down is very serious... like a ticking time bomb (laugh), but one that takes a very long time. And the arrangement just had to have a hyper-techno type of feeling (laugh), and I insisted to CMJK that he do that. The lyrics end in the past tense. I thought the past tense would suggest the feeling that what had happened is over, and it's time to look toward the future.

10　"July 1st"
The lyrics to July 1st are cheerful, and the melody has some spots that are subdued and others that come out and grab you.
This was the first time I had ever written a song from this viewpoint, and I even surprised myself! (Laughs)
(from "RAINBOW Director's Notes")

11　"Dolls"
Whenever I get lost, I go to HAL with this "Please God help me!" feeling, but HAL always make me feel better saying stuff like "Maybe we're psychic!" and then they always give me the arrangement I hope for. It feels like "Yes yes yes! That sound! That's the answer!" It was like that with "Over" and with the instrumental track "neverending dream" too, but this one was especially strong, and I didn't even need to say "it's for the movie 'Dolls'," which was surprising!
As for the lyrics, when I listened to the completed tune, I pictured a painting that depicts blooming flowers that fill the landscape. From this, I came up with "kirei-na hana wo sakasemasho" (let us make the flowers bloom), which I used as a starting point to develop the lyrics. The phrase -masho (let us) appears repeatedly because I wanted to create a pretty tune and to emphasize the delicate images that are inherent to the Japanese language.

12　"neverending dream"

13　"Voyage"
D･A･I and I had the melody, and I had the lyrics and vocals, but there was just something missing. That's when Ken Shima's arrangement came into the picture. When I heard the finished product, I realized the song had reached amazing heights that I could not have achieved.
(from "RAINBOW Director's Notes")

14　"Close to you"
Close to you is Christmas song for me. Or, rather, it's what resulted when I attempted to infuse my own sense of Christmas into a song. (Laughs) It did occur to me that perhaps I should be more aggressive in making the song more Christmassy. But I thought it was more important to have the whole song suggest the season than to have my words say so directly, and I didn't want to waver from this approach. When I wrote the song, the album creation period had already passed, but I was thinking "I can't NOT put this on the album" (bitter smile.) Aside from this song, the album recording schedule had been very tight... So I had no free time to warm up and get my voice in tune, so it was a challenge to record this, and it's possible that there are tiny nuances that listeners wouldn't notice, and the recording did not go very smoothly... it really was done at the absolute very last moment.

15　"independent+"
Well, what I should say about it... It's based on "independent" but it's longer. The "+" is kind of like a fun puzzle that you'll understand when you hear it. (Laughs) I wonder if you'll get it if you listen to the ending song of ayu ready? In "+," the Hamo Hamo Boys & Girls, my two managers, bancho, tasuku, and Natsuki, people who are always by my side, and my friends participated in the chorus. I wonder if you can tell who is who. That said, Bancho's voice is pretty famous (loud laughter)!

INTERVIEW： Kazuki Okabe
Credit: Delirium-Zer0 @ AHS
Shared by Ayu's Story
Take out with full credits!

[Translation] "I am..." Interview From Beatfreak Magazine

"I am..."
I'm never gonna give up.
If I can't make myself clear, then I'll keep on shouting till I do!

Ayumi Hamasaki is releasing her fourth original album, "I am...," on January 1st.
The album compiles hit singles like "M" and "Dearest," not to mention the System F trance number "Connected" and the TK composition "a song is born" (although the single version was a duet with keiko, the version included here is a Hamasaki Ayumi solo version, called "A Song is born"), and Ayu has taken on the challenge of performing a huge number of music genres! She is putting the finishing touches on her work in the year 2001 and hinting at her direction in the year 2002 with this one disc.

First off, may I hear the themes that the album "I am..." has in it?
A: When I make my albums, I always work from a theme, but this time, there was just about no time to work on that, I couldn't go into it starting from a theme, but I still went to work allowing the sound I want to make = the sound I wanted to express, to take shape. But because of that, I couldn't begin this album in an "I'm gonna make an album that sounds like such-and-such!" sort of way. But partway through making the album, I did notice that it had no real sense of unity, and it made me really impatient (bitter smile).

So how did you finally bring it all together into one thing?
A: In this album, the song I made very last was "Naturally," and in its last chorus, there's a part that says "freedom and solitude unite," but I realized, "Whenever I make an album, something like that is absolutely always the foundation." So far, inside myself, inside the person known as Ayu, those two things didn't try to unite with one another. I kinda feel something similar to it, but a someone else might go from "It's not likely Ayu and I will understand each other" to eventually the same "People are lonely creatures" place where Ayu is.

That's possible! Is that okay to say that? (laugh)
A: The part that says "Even though I wanted it, I gave up" was in my heart somewhere, but when I was writing the lyrics to "Naturally," I became someone who would never give up. Until then, I had a feeling of "It's okay if only the ones who already understand me get this," but it turned into a feeling of "If I tell you this and you don't understand, I'll keep shouting it out until you do!"

Moving on, may I hear the reason for your album's title, "I am..."?
A: Of course there was the whole "projecting my true self" mood that "I am..." came from, but that's not all it was. In "Daybreak" there's a part that says "we've lost our faces because of this era," but now I think this is an era in which "faceless people (people with no inviduality, accomodating people)" are everywhere. But I don't think it's an extremely sad thing.

Ah, I see!
A: Keeping that in mind, Bancho (ayu's Nail Artist, Kanako Miura) put out a book on nail art in December, and recalling a message from me that was printed on the book's obi, I thought that Bancho's "face" was in her work = the nail designs that Bancho had made. For example, in magazines there are features on nail art, and there's like a hundred photos of nails there, aren't there? But that one thing is simply what Bancho does, so when she found that "Bancho's 'face' is the fact that she has that work," she gained self-confidence.


Simply put, "face" = "individuality," right? But it was far easier said than done to put your "face" out there in this work.
A: Oh definitely. Looking back at myself this time, I wondered, what sort of "face" had I been leaving behind in my work? I thought, aren't various artists' songs flowing randomly over radio and television? If all the voices were the same, even if people knew "this is an Ayu song," would I be leaving behind any sort of "face" at all? After that I started to think, "Who am I?" and later, "What am I to the people who surround me?"... Simply put, I really want to know the answer to the "..." part of "I am...". The "..." that says "You are so-and-so, aren't you? So, who is that exactly?" People might hear the title "I am..." and think to themselves "I am... what?" and that's why I chose it.

So you mean not their individual name or appearance, but instead what's inside them? Asking themselves about that?
A: Yes. I was thinking, "It's so simple and fundamental, but it's such a hugely important thing."

By the way, "I am..." is going to be your fourth original album, isn't it? So we did some anlysis and comparison of these four albums. First off, "A Song for XX" had you full of this "I want to show my true self!" energy, and that was sort of your starting-off point.
A: Yeah. That's definitely what I was like.

Next, on your second album "LOVEppears," we have an Ayu who's begun to look at her surroundings (the world), who has now left her starting position and begun to write about her surroundings, yes? And on your third album, "Duty," it seems like an Ayu who's watching things from the world. So, now the fourth album, "I am...," sometimes I think "What is it?" And I think that it really is that Ayu's origin is where she's departed from, and that seems to be where the energy comes from.
A: Indeed... that's very deep. Yeah! I think that might be what it is.

I'm glad to hear you say that. So, recording the album this time, you visited the studio alot of times, but you had a rough time with it, didn't you?
A: Yeah. The absolute worst timing. I had a hard time writing the lyrics (bitter smile). But giving birth is always painful, so bringing this album into the world was also, but I wasn't alone this time. Compared to the past, especially! So far, there was always a feeling of "I'm working on this" meaning "I'm facing myself alone", you know, "Working in solitary is nice and simple," but this time there wasn't anywhere near that sort of "private, private" feeling. So it was very enjoyable. I wasn't nearly as tense doing it that way. I think it had a rough feeling because so much weight came off my shoulders, and for good reason.

Lastly, I'd like to hear about the look of this album's jacket...
A: For the album Jacket, since the title is "I am..." I never wanted to really have a decked out image. I took alot of things into consideration, but determined it'd be best to not decorate the album with extraneous things this time. So I went with a "Natural" look.

The type of image is that of the era of creation, or a time when the earth was just born, a time when there's nothing. But you're protecting with peace that which generates from that nothing. Ayu's word, "natural," seems to give that impression.
A: Exactly!

01 "I am..." (Music/CREA, Arrangement/Tadashi Kikuchi + tasuku)

"I am..." is the song that gave the album its title. It's full of the meaning "I am me, and not anyone else...", which I say even at the very beginning of this song. It's the "core" inside of the being known as Ayu. This is a song that I wrote as a scream from my heart about "my own never-changing, most finely-tuned parts" and "(but simultaneously this too) my missing pieces." This is never-changing, I think, and what will continue to never change. But, without such a piece, I can't think that I want to become "peaceful."

02 "opening Run" (Music, Arrangement/CMJK)

03 "Connected" (Music,Arrangement/Ferry Corsten)

When I first heard this song, I thought, it's a trance song, the synthesizer is working overtime, there's no way I could do a fusion with this. I thought, I don't even speak English very well, surely someone else, not Ayu, would be better for a trance collaboration? But Ferry (Corsten, "system F") made a very strong approach, saying "I want you to write lyrics for this no matter what!" So I thought, "Well, may as well, right?" and for this song, I was transmitting a message as an outsider, and I didn't feel like I was working on writing lyrics, it was more of a comfortable, "writing a letter to a friend" feeling, and it was nice.
So then, it became a letter I was writing to Ferry, but I was thinking "how can I make it Ayu-style," and I thought maybe "wordplay," or "japaneseplay," would be good.
"I discover (MITSUKETE)," "I stare (MITSUMETE)," "I make sure (MISADAMETE)" and so on with other such similar words make it feel like a thesaurus has been opened up. But I got to thinking there'd just be too much to do... (bitter smile)
I was just packing it so full of words with the same sound, and I had to put the words that I chose in an order that made the lyrics comprehensible.
I think once you hear Ferry's song with the vocals inserted, you can hear that I'm repeating the same thing. Anyway, as for the lyrics, I thought I heard the staff who could understand Japanese going "What is she saying?" So I wrote the chorus section to say, "We are all connected at each and every place, so when you're thinking of these words, I already am too." When you understand the answer to "What is this?," the meaning of the words, it's that even though Ayu is far away in Japan, she's still connected to you!
In the end, there wasn't really an excited feeling of "let's get these vocals done!" Since the synthesizer's sound was very inorganic, I thought it would be best to sing in a more expressionless manner, which was a challenge.

04 "UNITE!" (Music/CREA, Arrangement/HΛL)

05 "evolution" (Music/CREA, Arrangement/HΛL)

06 "Naturally" (Music/CREA, Arrangement/CMJK)

It took something like 20 minutes or so total to write this song. Strictly speaking, with everything floating around in my head, I think about songs for a long time, but once I started writing this one, it was surprisingly smooth sailing. When I work on a song, typically, I first write the CM size (the 30-seconds-long chorus section), and then I put together the whole thing later, but in this case the space of time between writing the CM version and writing the full song (when work on the album began) was so long, so it took longer to complete this song than the others.

07 "NEVER EVER" (Music/CREA, Arrangement/CHOKKAKU)

08 "still alone" (Music/CREA, Arrangement/CMJK)

This song was done in a backwards pattern from "Naturally," as what I wanted to write was very clear in my mind. But the orchestral part (the sound of its melody) was really very good, no matter what issues I had making the song. I wanted to do a song with the theme "song that seems cute," by an Ayu who isn't a woman but still a little girl, and explaining to CMJK the subtle nuances in the arrangement that I wanted was difficult. Every person has a slightly different standard of what makes something "cute" (bitter smile). I think I confused CMJK when I explained it to him. I wasn't able to explain anything but my own abstract "cute feelings." Because of that, we had to redo it many times... So, finally, the song we made became completely different from what we'd worked on at the beginning. At first, it was a much more grim song. (lol) I'd say in interviews that "The last song finished was 'Naturally'" but honestly, this song was also done in the same time period, still redoing things until the very last moment before the album was due to be finished. I think the staff were pretty impatient, saying "This will never be done in time!"

09 "Daybreak" (Music/CREA + D・A・I + junichi matsuda, Arrangement/tasuku)

"Daybreak" is almost like a light in the dark, very warm, very fresh perhaps... It's a song with a pureness that makes you feel shy if you listen, so ayu gambled with feeling shy when being so honest in this song! To say "you're so shy about that!" I wrote with a feeling of "words that shine without saying anything." The song was written very quickly. So far, for me... I think I've been writing about feeling as though something was missing. You could say that Ayu's style was "showing honesty, but not being honest" in many things.

10 "taskinlude" (Music, Arrangement/tasuku)

11 "M" (Music/CREA, Arrangement/HΛL)

12 "A Song is born" (Music, Arrangement/Tetsuya Komuro)

The foundation for this song's lyrics were in the tour. I usually release an album after the tour has influenced it enough, this time too I did get alot of sounds I thought I should do, and I thought I should make use of those shapes. At that time, Komuro-san unexpectedly slipped in and offered a music composition... And he said, "How do you want to do this song?" and I told him my feelings that "During my own tour, I felt the way this song feels to me," and he said "Alright, reflect those feelings in this song." It was the first time I'd sung a song written by Komuro-san, but other times I'd been given songs from him I thought "oh okay, this is nice" at the time, over and over, but I felt like just the name "Komuro Tetsuya" carried alot of weight.
By the way, the way of writing the title has changed from the single version (the december 12th released single, all in lowercase as "a song is born") to the album version, in order to make the distinction that instead of it being sung together with KEIKO, it's a solo song here.

13 "Dearest" (Music/CREA + D・A・I, Arrangement/Naoto Suzuki)

14 "no more words" (Music/CREA + D・A・I, Arrangement/Naoto Suzuki, tasuku)

Once I got to the part where I was making this song, I'd started heading into the end of the album, and I thought of the phrase "no more words." Although the lyrics are rather nice for such an intense subject matter, I wanted to convey the part of a person who's "sorrow" is that "If everyone already understands, then that's okay, right? Because everyone keeps going forward, just because they have no choice but to go through life..." No matter what kind of harshness there is, I thing I should live with strength. When making this album, I thought "Gah, it's hopeless! This is impossible!" over and over again, but despite that, I persisted in making it, and I was somehow able to reach this end result... (bitter smile)
Actually, I wrote the lyrics to this song once before, but scrapped it and it was newly rewritten. I think the reason was that there was a section saying something like, "after this, I'm not saying anything else." When I look at the entire album, the flow of the sequence between "I am..." and "no more words," I've put my message out there perfectly. I'm very very happy with it... So here, I was using one phrase to convey something, rather than doing it the reverse way and adding more words just for the sake of explanation, which makes the feelings become more trivial. Even I have things I don't say, and I'm sure everyone wouldn't press me to give any more answers than I have. So "I'm not saying any more right now" is what I wrote. By the way, the meaning of the title "no more words" is... "You can understand even though I'm not saying any more than this."

15 "Endless sorrow ~gone with the wind ver.~" (Music/CREA, Arrangement/CMJK)

INTERVIEW： Kazuki Okabe
Credit: Delirium-Zer0 @ AHS
Shared by Ayu's Story
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[Translation] "Duty" Interview From Beatfreak Magazine

Ayumi Hamasaki has released her third album "Duty" on September 27th. In this interview, we delve into her thoughts on the album. Let's go!


Your third album, "Duty," has been released at last, but about when did you start working on this album?
A: The start of choosing the songs to put on the album started after my nationwide tour ended. So I was really worried, thinking, "A September release is going to be impossible!" (laughs)

The tour ended on August 9th, so it's probably only natural to think that. Nevertheless, now that it's done and on sale, would you say the tour had any influence?
A: There was alot that I got from the tour, I think it influenced the album quite a bit. But it's not just what I got once the tour was over. Like, three songs were done before the tour began ("vogue," "Far away," and "SEASONS"), the way I was at the time is in there, me fighting with myself during the tour is in there, what I was able to do once the tour finally ended is in there, and the time I enjoyed spending by myself afterwards is there. There's an impression of a whole flow of time in the album.

Which reminds me, those three songs are in their release order on the album, but in between them there are new songs sort of "buried" in there. So, the last song, "girlish," is the real conclusion of the album, and is it also a sort of "answer" to the album's questions?
A: Yeah. I think so. Like the lyric "Let's go with that feeling" from the song...

Taking "Present" from your first album and "Who..." from your second into consideration, this song is a conclusion, but until now you haven't thought of this song as a way to end things, right?
A: In general, I'd think of a song like "Key ~eternal tie ver.~" as an end song.

Ah, I see. But I thought "girlish" had very good lyrics. The lyrics to this last song aren't published in the booklet like they usually are, there's no excess power in there, it's a very light feeling, but it's very good, I think.
A: Where I am in my life right now, there's a girl at the top and a girl feeling very down gathering together and mingling, and these lyrics have a feeling of immediacy, in a manner of speaking.

But the songs aren't on the album in the same order as the lyrics were written in?
A: It was all kinda scattered. The first one I did was, I think, "SURREAL."

Ah, the song whose single was released concurrently with the album. Considering that Hamasaki-san writes realistic lyrics about ground you've actually traveled, I was thinking that title was somewhat mysterious, though.
A: Although I did want to write something realistic, I have a habit of escapism, so writing something realistic, I still thought I should use that title (laughs). When I say "Although you say that you think you're worthless / You'll put both hands out if you fall down on the road" in the lyrics, the truth is, I'm talking to a friend of mine. One day, she said, "It doesn't matter what happens to me," or something of the sort, and it just made me weep. And yet, when she fell down, she put her hands out suddenly, protecting herself even though she'd given up, and when I saw this, I thought, "Ah, it doesn't matter, does it?" It seems like whenever I'm also thinking "Whatever happens, happens," I think I'll always quickly protect myself if I fall down on the road! (laugh)

You talk about such a scene, and it's so interesting to hear about the inspiration behind your lyrics, but what's with that composure of yours?
A: Ahahaha... Well, if you say it's impressive, I guess it's because it's my nature.

If you watch very calmly like that, various other people would be rather unhappy with you.
A: You lie! Aww, now what do I do? (laugh)

Naah. It's already too late to do anything about it... So, getting back to the subject, reading these lyrics, it felt like a person discovering something they like, and I was dwelling on that very intensely.
A: Yeah. If someone has found what they like, I think that's great. But even if they find what they like, for instance, if they decide they want to become a model, I would think adults would all say "What? Why modeling?" and "Find a real job!" and stuff like that. The thing you like, whatever it is that's worth dreaming about, I thought it seemed like it should be great, shouldn't it?

So now, I'd like to hear about "Duty," the album's title track.
A: I wrote it before I wrote "vogue," and it reflected the state I was in at the time. The lyric "my turn" isn't referring to just myself though, it means each and every one of you also. Of course I do include myself in that group. For instance, there have been various "artists" out there for years and years. Mr. or Miss So-And-So was there, but the times are always changing, you know? And everyone can see when the world changes. History is always being repainted like that, one era ends and we can see it happen, we can't be as young as we are now forever, and we can't be onlookers forever. So we can't just say "Eh, I don't get it, whatever" forever, I thought.

And how does that connect with the title?
A: Communicating that is something I thought it was my duty to do at the time.

Next, why were you considering following up last year's "white Ayu" and "black Ayu" with this CD jacket's "Leopard Ayu"?
A: Because for some reason I just really wanted to do it! (laughs) Before, I kept asking myself "Why do I wanna do White Ayu and Black Ayu?" and stuff but there was absolutely no reason for it, but lately, doing things with no reason isn't so scary to me. So it's just like, "I'm gonna do this!"

That seems to symbolize Hamasaki-san right now. Rather like the song "girlish." Will you be running recklessly from now on, then?
A: Honestly, right now, I already AM running recklessly! (laugh)

INTERVIEW： Akira Endo
Credit: Delirium-Zer0 @ AHS
Shared by Ayu's Story
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[Translation] "LOVEppears" Beatfreak Track-By-Track Interview

Another old magazine interview, Beatfreak during the release of "LOVEppears" 2nd album

At the second album "LOVEppears", I tried to sing and
shout along with the sharp sounds in order to
express my true feeling of sadness and longing.

November 10th, Ayumi Hamasaki is simultaneously releasing her long-awaited Second Album "LOVEppears" and 300,000-copies-limited maxi single "appears". This appearance in beatfreak is her first in about 10 months. She talked about the album's production.

First off, can you tell us the origin of the title of your second album, "LOVEppears"? "LOVEppears" is the words LOVE and appears ("seems to be") mixed. People say that it's a coined term made up by Ayu, but what kind of meaning does it have?

Ayu: The title "LOVEppears" has two meanings to it, "thing that seems like love" and "discrepancy between what we see and what's really there." When I was thinking about the jacket design, I was concerned about the title I'd use, and my staff were there with a suggestion. They said, "You should use English word A and English word B, and put them together to make a whole new word."

How did you decide to connect "LOVE" and "appears" together in the first place?

Ayu: Before my trip to New York for the jacket photo shoot, I looked out the window from inside the car, and there was a couple that looked SO happy, but I personally was thinking, maybe they're in the middle of a serious crisis. Or maybe they're actually talking about separating. So I thought of the meaning "seems to be" for the word "appears" and stuck it on there. We give ourselves certain outward appearances and images, trying to make it look like things are good or bad, whatever we want to show people, but really things aren't as we're showing.

So yeah, that discrepancy between what's percieved & what's real that you mentioned. But with the sort of air you put forth, an objective third party could tell that the way you write here isn't like your style on your first album. Like for me, I think that style was more clear when put it next to songs like "TO BE" or "Boys & Girls." But what do you think?

Ayu: Mm-hmm, I think there was a change there.

Do you think it's a spontaneous occurrance, or do you think it's the result of yourself changing?

Ayu: I changed after absorbing various things & growing, but I was thinking for days about things like, what is it that I absorbed after my first album? Thanks to my writing, I think I became aware that after I figured something out, I would have to change as a result, wouldn't I?

As far as sound goes, on the maxi single "Boys & Girls" for example, there are alot of remixes with Hard House, Reggae, and other styles that have been produced.

Ayu: The producers were thinking that those sorts of sounds could be put in the second album. Both parties have to decide on a remix's core arrangement, so when people who like me & people who have helped me since my debut introduced me to the sound, I thought about it.

Tell us about how you prepared for the album.

Ayu: Sure! Well, while working on "A Song for XX," for example, during the sad times that I couldn't shake, I'd always be saying "I'm very sad, I can't shake this." Quietly crying, quietly wounded, quietly mourning. But with "LOVEppears," during sad times, I express it with furious sounds, shouting out, screaming. I can see that there are some things I couldn't change, but I had alot of that sort of tension this year. So that's how that was. This album is like that, but next time, what will I be like? I couldn't tell you. Maybe with the next album, I'll go back to sounding like I did on the first. Who knows? Or maybe I'll have a totally different way of doing things.

By the way, before doing this interview, when we talked to your producer Max Matsuura, he said: "Ayu is a very meticulous worker behind the scenes. Alot of the work she does by herself is more in the Producer's arena. I think really we should say 'Produced by ayumi hamasaki'." But what do you think of that statement?

Ayu: I've heard it said several times, "Let's say 'Produced by ayumi hamasaki'," but Ayu's producer is Max Matsuura, and it's meaningless to try to say otherwise. Sure, practically speaking, I do producer-like duties, as do a few others. But why do I do it? Why do I stretch myself to that extent? I ask myself that, but I think Max Matsuura is the one doing most of it after all. So, for the sake of holding onto myself, if anyone else wanted to be Hamasaki Ayumi's producer, I wouldn't be interested.

From that, it seems as though your producer Max Matsuura is giving you more credit than you think you deserve. Anyway, right after the album release, what kind of schedule is the year 2000 going to have for you?

Ayu: Once the album is out there, once the feeling starts to come to me, I plan on releasing who-knows-how-many new singles. Then after that.... ummm... Definitely gonna do something. I think! (laughs)

That "something" is very meaningful, isn't it?

Ayu: Yup. But it is a secret.


1: Introduction
(Music/Arrangement: HΛL)


2: Fly high
(Music: D・A・I/Arrangement: HΛL)

I'm rapping in this song!! Magazines were all writing stuff like "Ayu's next challenge - rapping!!" weren't they? (laughs) At first I thought I'd just do it in an interlude, but Nagao-san's demo tape for this song had a temporary English rap in it and it was really good. So just spontaneously we figured, "In the place of this English rap, we should put a rap with lyrics written by Ayu." But every time I thought about writing, I couldn't write... I was worried. Every time I wrote something down, it was different, so it was really difficult. On top of it, I don't know alot about rhyming, so with the sparse knowledge I had, I had to come up with words that rhymed, which I was very bad at. So it has this "Ayu monologue" feeling to it. Listeners might not be able to hear "rapping" but my voice while not singing is what I want people to hear. I think that's what I wanted to give them.


3: Trauma
(Music: D・A・I/Arrangement: Naoto Suzuki, D・A・I)

Of all the 4 songs on "A", I was most troubled when writing the lyrics to "Trauma." When I wrote the chorus, which was gonna be used in the CM, I did okay at expressing a positive, cute "jumping up in the air" feeling, but when it came to writing the whole song, I didn't have even KINDA the same mood.... So the words couldn't come out, I couldn't concentrate. When this happens, I'm thinking to myself, "I have this thing I want to say, but it's all fuzzy in my brain." What I had to write versus what I was really thinking caused me some worry, so I had to think about what I was going to put forth. Until this, I'd never used words like "cruelty" and "insanity," so I wondered if I should say that or if I should replace those words with something else. But now, honestly, I'm glad I used them, because I was able to convey my real feelings.


4: And Then
(Music: Yasuhiko Hoshino/Arrangement: Keisuke Kikuchi)

Take a building that's still under construction, for instance. When you see someone who's like that, it's not that they're incomplete, it's that they can't make any progress because they don't understand anyone but themselves. But a stranger might see it as already complete, although the inside of that "under construction" person is still completely imperfect. In "And Then," Ayu is expressing this.
In "TO BE" I wrote "ibitsu (imperfection)" and in "And Then," "fukanzen (incomplete)." I think I definitely have a penchant for such words. As for the way I write lyrics, I take the writing seriously of course, but I sometimes feel like playing around with them, honestly. At the part that goes, "It felt like I was writing lyrics, la la la...," this is Ayu seriously playing around. There are probably alot of people who didn't notice this, but the lyric that goes "I can't stay in the same place forever" later on, that's a lyric that can be found on "A Song for XX."


5: immature
(Music: Kazuhito Kikuchi/Arrangement: HΛL)

The lyrics for "immature" were written on the same day as "And Then" (their meaning being "unskilled at Being Human"). This song was already done during work on my first album, but I hesitated to put it on there, and afterwards I talked about making it a single. So this time I was able to finally show the song to the world, but it took more than a year for that to happen, and alot of history had occurred in the meantime, so the image the song put across was totally wrong, so I wrote really great new lyrics for it. "And Then," written the same day, has the same theme, but this one, "immature," is the much brighter song of the two. When I was faced with something incomplete, I very honestly and seriously painted the shape I was faced with in this work. The other song, "And Then," is in a minor key, because I'm looking at myself with calmer eyes, really facing that incomplete thing, and talking about that.


6: Boys & Girls
(Music: D・A・I/Arrangement: Naoto Suzuki, D・A・I)

"Boys & Girls" was my first maxi-single, so I guess alot of people know me now, huh? Usually, the single jackets were photographed in a studio, but we had a square to work with for the 12-cm single's design, so we said "If it's a square, we can't do that, so let's do a new photo design." So we took the photos by the ocean, which was different (laughs).
During this time, in both my work and private life, I think I was making difficult faces. I understood "Boys & Girls" as a turning point, but I didn't understand it as a good thing, so I put up barriers so my misunderstood self couldn't be seen. Although I was making difficult faces at the time, they didn't reflect how I really felt. Now... looking back, I definitely seem to have a calm face.


7: TO BE
(Music: D・A・I/Arrangement: Naoto Suzuki, D・A・I)

Do As Infinity have made their debut now, but this was the first time Nagao-san wrote a song for me. My first impression of Nagao-san was "large wall" (not like "a big barrier that I can't climb over cuz it's so big", I just mean his eyes were really high up! I'M SO SORRY Nagao-san! (laughs))
The chorus for "TO BE" has a much "thicker" sound than my other singles until now, but I wonder if everyone noticed? After the song's release, since I was really into 70's-style clothes at the time, I wore bandanas on my head for alot of my TV lives.


8: End roll
(Music: D・A・I/Arrangement: Naoto Suzuki, D・A・I)

I've never been able to watch a movie the whole way to the end, so I'm always leaving the movie theaters in the middle. I really do want to watch until the end, but I feel like I'm stuck and I want to get up, and that's such a good snapshot of myself, I feel strongly about that... It's a great thing to write, but really, if I stay till the end, the exit is packed, and it gets so bright because of the lights, and it's such a dumb thing to worry about, but I can't take it. lol! But that's something that really symbolizes the present Ayu, I thought. Always somewhere being so very awkward. There are other things I want to do, other useless things I'm worrying about, necessary things I'm unable to do. "End roll" comes from me telling myself over & over, "One of these days I'm going to watch a movie the whole way through to the end roll."


9: P.S II
(Music: Hideaki Kuwabara/Arrangement: HΛL)

This song, "P.S II," is a sequel to the song "POWDER SNOW" from my first album. I wonder if the people who didn't like me until hearing songs like "LOVE ~Destiny~" and "TO BE" after my first album was released will hear this song after hearing "POWDER SNOW"? This song was made for people who have supported me since my debut, sort of like a "secret password" with me, I think. Next to the quieter "POWDER SNOW," "P.S II" is much more intense. When you compare the two works, they have a completely different sound.
This is me having a hard time using the proper phrase to express my gratitude, so I'm using the next closest phrase to replace it. It symbolizes the way I am this year.


10: WHATEVER
(Music: Kazuhito Kikuchi/Arrangement: Izumi "D.M.X" Miyazaki)

This is my first single of 1999. Track one on the single was a remix version called "version M," and the approach to this work was different than my work until now. At first, the original version, "version J", was planned to be track 1 and "version M" was planned to be track 2 on the single, but when I listened to the original and the remix, the original version lost the contest every time. The repeating of "ta" in "kogoesou de me wo tojiteta" felt very fresh to me at the time. Putting the remix as track 1 was something I was nervous about. Would everyone agree to it? But it turned out to be a more popular decision than I thought it would.


11: too late
(Music: D・A・I/Arrangement: Naoto Suzuki, D・A・I)

"too late" and "End roll." Those two songs use opposing techniques in their melodies to illustrate the same thing, in order to display the world that I wanted to display & express the words that I wanted to express. The so-called "manner of speaking" they both have. The phrase "too late" has a negative context, but in this case I mean that if there's something you can't make on time, but you still just keep going, you gain experience and knowledge for every step you take, you understand your circumstances and situation. Even if you don't make it, even if you're too late, in the end, some good has come of it, and chances are that more good will come from it eventually. Of course, if you do nothing but wait, that's no good, but... I felt, since I was expressing the idea of "too late" being a more positive phrase, the song should overflow with feelings of speed.


12: appears
(Music: Kazuhito Kikuchi/Arrangement: HΛL)

Before singing this song, but after I finished the lyrics, I had the words in my head but they weren't finalized yet (laughs). In my works until now, I only used the words "watashi" and "anata" (for "me" and "you"), and here a protagonist saying "kimi" makes her entrance. I usually sang about people's feelings and thoughts, what was "inside the heart," you could say. But this time was the first time I used the term "lovers." Lovers that we see may seem perfectly happy, like everything's normal. From far away, a third party looking on might get that impression. By the way, this song was on its own single limited to 300,000 copies, but the version that appears on the album is a bit different. Oh, and saying "KISU" in the lyrics here was also a first for me. I sang the song during the PV shoot and I felt very shy, lol.


13: monochrome
(Music: D・A・I/Arrangement: Naoto Suzuki, D・A・I)

"monochrome" is a song written with a "fairytale" theme. When I was a child, the idea of a princess bound to her Prince Charming was a lovely thought to me. But now that I've become an adult, really, I think that I shouldn't wish for that type of thing, I should be serious now. Thinking, "A princess is so lucky, she can wear pretty dresses and eat delicious things, right?" In the lyrics I say "This fun, sad, and tender story." I'm saying there that I, now, am grasping onto fairytale. I've been able to hold on to certain various things, but right at this moment, there are alot of things I have to let go of. That's the impression those words give.

14: Interlude
(Music/Arrangement: Naoto Suzuki)

15: LOVE ~refrain~
(Music: TSUNKU/Arrangement: Naoto Suzuki)

Up until making this album, I had been looking at "LOVE ~Destiny~" as my own song, but in alot of ways, I felt like it wasn't my song at all. But this time, when I made "LOVE ~refrain~," I finally felt confident that it was my own song, and I was able to be calm about it.
Truthfully, before "LOVE ~Destiny~" was created, Ayu wrote the idea of LOVE for "LOVE ~refrain~" based on Tsunku's composition.
Afterwards, this song was the last one finished for insertion in the album, and recording was done in New York. I'd always felt like the circumstances were wrong. But I feel like if "LOVE ~Destiny~" was the wrong shape for the song to be in, then it came to its strongest form with "LOVE ~refrain~."

16: Who...
(Music: Kazuhito Kikuchi/Arrangement: Naoto Suzuki)

Is it love or isn't it? Is it compassion or is it shared experience? I was holding on to questions like that, and this song's theme is the answers I finally got. The ellipsis at the end of the title, because it wouldn't look like something definitive that way. It kinda feels like making a "Hmmm?" sound in Japanese, doesn't it? I wanted to express that I was in an uncertain place. Plus, it has implications of "It seems like it's such-and-such, but maybe it's really not such-and-such!"
Afterwards, the end. Or rather, it "appears" to be the end (laughs)! This is a message from me to all of you. You'll understand what it means if you wait 30 seconds...

Credit: Delirium-Zer0 @ AHS
Shared by Ayu's Story
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[MagCover] Beatfreak avex magazine cover featuring Ayumi Hamasaki

Here's the latest Beatfreak magazine cover for the upcoming issue

Credit: PinkShinigami @ AHS Forum
Original source: Beatfreak official site
Shared by Ayu's Story
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